So, here it is, get your coffee – it’s gonna be a long one!
Work
So I’ve been in the job for 4 mths now – and LOVING it… seriously, I know I have loved most of my jobs, but I love this one the most! Now if only I could get this job, in the office closer to home, I would be laughing! Several acting opportunities have come up in that office, but they have only been a couple of months, and I can’t give up a year for a couple of months. Good thing though – I now get use of a work car so my travel costs are down… the woman I was staying with 2 nights a week has also moved back down here, so I’m now staying with another friend… lucky I have that or I wouldn’t be doing this. The drive – 1 hr 20 mins – is a long one, but hey, it’s not a bad drive – all open road – and it’s good reflecting and wind down time… so all good on the work front!
Home
Home life is up and down. My boy has had a terrific year and is going great guns at school. Of course, that left room for some challenges with my daughter! She doesn’t want to go to the catholic high school still, and that is causing problems. She is suffering with some depression and we have tried to get her into a psych, to no avail. Got the appointment and she refused to get out of the car. She is overweight, and struggles with this – as I did… how hard it is for me to help her, when she throws at me that I had to have a lap band because dieting doesn’t work, why should she bother to try? We have an appointment with a dietician next month, and I’m keeping on with trying to get her to talk to a psych. She is talking to the school guidance officer – but infrequently. Fourteen is such a horrid year! I remember being fourteen myself… hell!
Hubby still pisses me off quite regularly, and I go between wanting to kick him out and making up again. Marriage is hard work sometimes! Most of the time we are okay, but then something will happen and I’m at the point of packing his bags again. Sometimes I wish he would just move out and save me the dramas. And that isn’t to say I don’t love him – because I do… but sometimes I feel our lives are so different, our thoughts, our beliefs, our wants and needs… and every day I wonder ‘is it just a matter of time’ or will we pull through? And I’m not sure I want an answer…
Band
Then there is the band… Since I got the port fixed the first time I have struggled to lose anything. Up down up down. I’ve moved back into that old diet mentality – and I don’t want to be there! With working away I don’t find time to exercise regularly, and I also drink too much alcohol. Somehow I slipped away from how it was the first 6 mths and started to cheat the band – eating chocolate, lollies, ice creams, cheeses, takeaway – any junk that would work really. Not really overeating it, but eating it nonetheless. And from where I was drinking vodka and diet lemonade, I started drinking more wine, beer, strongbow, bourbon cans… everything just crept in. So my weight just continued to hover. And I regularly PB’d as well. When I got back up to 3mls I got super tight again and had to have a 1/2 mil out. So the last 3 mths or so I’ve had just the 2.5mls – but that is not right either. At 2.5mls things hurt. At 3mls, the food either went down or it didn’t. At 2.5mls things seem to squeeze through, and get stuck, and bloody hurt! Probably doesn’t help that I don’t stick to the rules either – of 1/2 cup of food over 30mins. So anyway, with all the irregular PBing, gradually things got worse. So the week before last I was at my friend’s place and drank loads of wine… stayed up late… in the morning I ate my vegemite toast for breakfast and PB’d – which turned into a full vomit. I guess there was still wine in my gut cause that came up too… and burned the shit out of me. All day that day my gullet was burning – I was nearly pulling my hair out of my head! That night I ate icecubes and it finally stopped burning. The next day I had shakes and they were fine. On the saturday I went to a BBQ at my sis house and I ate 1/2 slice of ham and was drinking a can of diet bourbon & cola. And the ham was stuck… and I vomited again, and burned and burned. The sunday I ate the ice again. Then at dinner I ate just some spag bol sauce. Burned. In the morning I ate ice, but threw that back up. All day I tried to sip water, but the burning was so intense and I kept bringing the water back up. By lunchtime I knew I was screwed and called the surgeon, who came in especially to try to remove some fill for me. Of course, nothing is ever easy with me, he couldn’t get to the port again as it just kept flipping. So back to surgery for me. I’ve already updated on the next few days – with the IV at the local ED and to finally getting the op done again. I phoned the surgery this morning to find out why the port didn’t get put on my sternum and the nurse didn’t know but will get back to me. I’m feeling a whole lot better today, if a bit sore at the wound site. And I’m so back on track to do the right thing. No more fart-assing around! I’m following the rules!!
Holiday
I just had an awesome week away with my weight loss group buddies – remember last year we went to Gladstone? Well this year we went to Sydney…. and stayed in the World Tower – all nine of us! Was a fabulous week! We did all the usual Sydney stuff – and overall had a fantastic time together! Then myself an one of the women who lives close by to me and is a closer friend, hopped a train up to the Central Coast where I come from. Visited heaps of my rellies and drove around reminiscing… was great! Next year, Melbourne!
Okay, that’s about enough updating for now! I plan to do a pic on or around 14 Nov… to get back on the pic wagon.
